Erica (shimmer22) wrote,

The Next Step in This Journey We Call Life

I'm not quite sure what mood to label this journal entry with. I just got my student visa to go to Paris next semester. It's all kind of hitting me at once. I'm going to Paris next semester. I'm really actually going. Leaving the U.S. Leaving everything I know. I'll be back, absolutely, but I'll no longer be able to say I haven't traveled outside the U.S. before. Which has always been interesting about me. Now I can replace that with "I lived in Paris for five months." Which is cooler. I'm so excited. I'm also anxious, but in a good way. I'm anticipatory, I think. Is that a word? I think it is. I'm a little bit nervous, but again, in a good way. I'm just so excited! But then, I'm also leaving my friends for a semester. So I won't see people until next fall, and if they're studying abroad in the fall, then I won't see them for an entire year. It started to hit me at IV family dinner last Thursday. Wow. I'm actually doing it. I'm getting ready. I'm gonna pack my bags and be off. But I'll be back. I just know God has amazing plans for me in Paris. I have no idea what they could possibly be, but He knows. And He's preparing me for them, whatever they are.

I was thinking about what Jin said last Wednesday, about how 2006 wasn't a great year and how 2007 will be on the upswing. I absolutely agree. I'm finally comfortable with saying how I did not have a good semester this fall. I didn't. I felt depressed and lonely, and looking back I realize I did it to myself. I let myself get obsessed about things I thought I was over. And right now, I truly know I am completely over them. Well, at least one for sure. This other issue is becoming less and less. It's all a process. Fruit needs time to ripen, it doesn't spring up all at once.

So since this is my journal... I've kind of been hung up on someone. A boy. It was worse last spring, but now it has... not lessened. I mean, lessened isn't the right word. I just took a step back and thought about our relationship. And I realized how we don't really have one. I mean, we don't have one other than semi-friends. And he is my brother in Christ, which is a stronger bond than anything else. So it's okay. I mean, I know nothing will happen between us. But we'll always have this bond. A bond I have with all of God's children. And I have such a peace about the whole situation. I'm good.

I don't want this to sound like I was crying myself to sleep at night over this. I definitely was not. I didn't even think about him that often. Usually only when I saw him and then for a little while afterwards. But he certainly did not consume my life. But it was just a... what? A phase? Something everyone must go through. Some kind of right of passage, I guess. But right now, right at this moment, I feel so peaceful. So, friends (if anyone actually does read this), I'm good. I can just hear Mary now, ready to fly up to New York to make sure I'm alright, haha :) I'm good.

So how has life been since my last update? Good, actually. I've been getting my work done. Speaking of work, check out my to-do list:

French workbook
French presentation
French oral exam
French test
Film paper
Film reading
Religion final
Genetics presentation
Genetics final

It looks very manageable. Especially since I'm about to take my French oral final in 20 minutes. Better go listen to some French music to brush up.

I'll write another entry later. Coming soon: My Thanksgiving break, my experience playing Halo, going to a sketchy bar uptown, singing Christmas carols, my visa appointment.

Have a lovely day everyone! Quote for the day is:
"There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God."
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