Three down, one to go. Oh yeah.
Last night was the last Thursday night movie night. After an indecisive struggle (meaning I'm the only one capable of making a decision :) ) we decided to watch Capote. Now I have seen all five Oscar nominees for Best Picture. And Capote was amazing. I'm still absorbing it right now. Philip Seymour Hoffman most definitely deserved that Oscar. He was incredible. I was just watching this movie and watching someone being completely consumed by their writing. It was amazing to watch. And I can't imagine ever being completely consumed by anything. Except for God that is. Honestly, what would drive me to the point Capote reached? Clueless. Anyway, I'm still thinking about the movie and I'm going to go to Barnes & Noble and read In Cold Blood after I eat lunch today. I want to read the masterpiece.
I've been trying to think a lot about where I want to live after graduation. I still don't know what I'm doing with my life, but I discovered I really don't want to leave New York. Ever. Maybe I will end up leaving and living out my life somewhere else, but I don't know if I'll want to or not. I love New York. The city has taken me in, teased me, completely caught me up and now it is in my blood forever. I don't want to leave New York. This summer is going to be very long. I'm excited to see my family and I really want to spend time with them, but I'm going to miss this city. A lot. Can you have a love affair with a city? You can have one with an idea, I know that. Maybe I'm in love with the idea of New York. No, I was in love with the idea of New York before I moved here. Once I came here, I fell in love with the city. I want to move into my own apartment next summer, provided I can find one of course. And afford one. I want to live in the city on my own.
Where should I live? Still clueless. I could live in Brooklyn. I would love to live there.
I really need some new clothes. And new shoes. Can't wait to go shopping over the summer. That girly moment is over now.
I miss routine. I was in one for a while, and then the school year started to end. I'll get back into my rhythm over the summer.
So my dad was supposed to leave for New York this morning, yay!
I have these two images of what I want to be. They are very different from each other. I don't know which one God is calling me to. Can I have both? Or does God intend for my life to follow a completely different path? I have no idea, but at least He does. Knowing He has a purpose with everything has made my life so much easier.
"To everything - turn, turn, turn/There is a season - turn, turn, turn/And a time for every purpose under heaven"
I am quoting from the Byrds song rather than Ecclesiastes. I love music. I wish I could play guitar. If I could, right now I'd sit and strum until the melody said for me what words cannot accomplish. At least not the words I am capable of stringing together. Some people are just writers. I read what they have to say and they can say it better than I ever could. They somehow know what my heart is trying to say. Some people are like that. They have a gift.
"Strumming my pain with his fingers/Singing my life with his words/Killing me softly with his song/Killing me softly with his song"
"I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud"
People are blessed in different ways. God is amazing.
I hope this entry doesn't sound emo. I'm really not emo. I just was thinking about music. I love to sing. Even if it hurts others when I do :)
So now I am hungry. Thomas is leaving today. I wonder if he's finished packing yet.
Now I must depart. Quote for this day is:
"I thought that Mr. Clutter was a very nice gentleman. I thought so right up to the moment that I cut his throat."